Plus tri

Dobar roditelj nikada ne umire, samo se povlači lagano u sećanje i prati nas.To je ta magična veza između mene i moga oca koja je posle njegove smrti dobila svoje pravo obličje jer, kao i sve vredno, postaje jasno tek kada nestane. Ta tiha podrška, razumevanje, neizrečene reči, možda čak i neispunjene želje…. nikada sebično niti posesivno. Sve nekako lebdi u uglu gde je ostala plava fotelja. Tu je sedeo, na krilima je držao svoje projekte i radio danonoćno, svojim šiberom računao brže od računara. I uvek je imao volju da napravi pauzu, da me uzme za ruku, da idemo kraj Dunava i gledamo reku, ptice, slušamo tišinu. Jako romantična duša uvek osetljiva na lepo, sposobna da primeti ono što prazni ljudi nikada neće videti. Naučio me je da se strpljenjem i radom postaje jači i da se samo tako može opstati. Ne preskakati stepenice…. Ne pratiti i ne sputavati tuđa kretanja. Pratiti svoj put i svoj rad. I čuvati svoj dom. Toplu oazu mira, smeha, razmene finih emocija…. pozitivnu energiju.

Moj otac, Petar Milanović rođen je 1924. godine. Ostao je bez majke sa samo 11 godina, a deka je doveo drugu ženu da bi imao ko da se brine o četvoro dece. Moj tata je bio najstariji i taj težak život sa grubom maćehom naučio ga je da drugima ne donosi patnju. Bio je u ratu, ranjen je i jedva je preživeo. Vratio se pun volje za učenjem. Završio je trgovačku Akademiju u Beogradu, a zatim i Ekonomski fakultet. Sve vreme je radio. Doktorirao je. Bio je jedan od najvećih stručnjaka poljoprivredne ekonomije i učitelj većine sadašnjih savetnika i eksperata kojih se sigurno stidi ako gleda njihove postupke. Mnogi su došli na vlast ranijih godina, a sada je većina negde preko…ili negde pod ključem. Neki još opstaju. Svakako bi rekao sada kao i što je tada govorio: „Dete, radi, uči, napreduj ali za sebe i svoju porodicu. Nikada nemoj biti šef jer Drina se ne da ispraviti. Energiju ćeš potrošiti, a oni će uvek pobediti. Ne daj da te loši ljudi učine grubom i promene boje kojima je obojen tvoj mali svet.“

Tata je umro 26. februara 2007, godine. Posle kraće bolesti. Mnogima sam pomogla, ali zbog teških vremena koja su me zadesila, nisam videla da mi on nestaje pred očima. Samo na slikama koje sada gledam, sa zajedničkih proslava rođendana, vidim kako nas polako napušta. Poslednji put, kada smo se videli u bolnici, rekao je: “ Lepa moja, šta bismo mi svi bez tebe radili“. Ja sam tada isto pomislila i za njega. I danas se pitam kako uspevamo bez njega. Od zamene sijalice i gumice na česmi….do mudrih saveta i hrabre podrške.

Vreme sve prolazi. Ali tuga ostaje. Leči je jedino činjenica da je baš taj najbolji otac bio moj. I svima hvala što sam makar ovako mogla da mu sve to kažem. Nema potrebe da bude duži tekst. Sve najbitnije ionako ostaje između redova.

napisala Ivana Nedeljković

♥

A good parent never dies, just fade away slowly into memory and follows us. That is this magical connection between me and my father who, after his death, got his true face, because, like everything else priceless, it becomes clear only when it is gone. This silent support, understanding, unspoken words, perhaps even unfulfilled desires … never selfishly or possessive. Everything is floating in the corner where the blue armchair remained. He sat there, wore his projects on his laps and worked day and night, counting faster with his slide ruler, then a computer. And he always had the will to take a break, take me to the Danube and watch the river, birds, listen to silence. A very romantic soul is always sensitive to the beautiful, capable of noticing what empty people will never see. He taught me that patience and work is becoming stronger and that is the only way you can survive. Do not skip the staircase …. Do not keep track of and stay out of others’ movements. Follow your way and your work. And protect your home. A warm oasis of peace, laughter, exchange of fine emotions … positive energy.

My father, Petar Milanovic, was born in 1924. He was left without a mother in his 11 years, and then grandfather brought another woman to have someone to care for four children. My dad was the eldest and that hard life with a step mother taught him not to bring suffering to others. He was at war, he was wounded, and he barely survived. He returned full of the will to learn. He graduated on the Trade Academy in Belgrade and then at the Faculty of Economics. He worked all the time. He finished PhD. He was one of the biggest experts in the agricultural economy and a teacher of most current advisers and experts. He would be surely ashamed of looking at their activities today. Many have come to power in previous years, and now most of them are somewhere over … or somewhere under the key. Some hardly survive. He would certainly say now as he said: „Child, do, work, learn, advance for yourself and your family. Never be the boss because river Drina cannot be corrected. You will spend energy, and they will always win. These bad people make you rude and change colors that your little world is colored. „
Dad died February 26, 2007. After a short illness. I helped many people, but because of the tough times that hit me, I did not see he is disappearing before my eyes. Only on the pictures I’m looking at now, from the joint celebrations of the birthday, I see how slowly we leave. The last time we saw ourselves at the hospital, he said: „My dear, what would we all do without you?“ I then thought of him the same. And today I wonder how we are succeeding without him. From replacing bulbs and rubbers on the water taps … to wise advice and brave support.

Time is all over. But sadness remains. Cure is the only fact that the very best father was mine. And thank you all for being able to say him all like this. No need for the longer text. All the most important things remain between lines anyway.

by Ivana Nedeljković